Be right back or will we?
by Jun Hirasami
Summary: Sasori and Deidara need to go to get tacos that were supposed to be here awhile ago, but the restaurant exists in an unknown place! VERY SLIGHTLY IMPLIED PEIN/KONAN! Please review! I like reviews A LOT! NO YAOI! Thank God...rated T to be safe! ON HOLD
1. flashback

**Note: Some ages and things MAY be changed around!**

**Disclaimer: Dammit, Kishimoto! You get the cool stuff T^T**

It was just another day in Sasori's apartment. He had just hung up the phone, having finished ordering tacos from "Carlos' Mexican Food Stand". He was planning on having a party later, and wanted to get everything ready quickly. He didn't know why he had invited most of the ones he had, he only knew most of them from all the way back to a first grade classroom. Sasori's family had to move since his father needed to go out on business, and he'd not seen any of them since. The only person he thought he should have invited was Deidara, his only true friend from the beginning of 2nd grade 'til now.

_Flashback_

"_Mom, do we really need to leave?" a seven-year-old Sasori asked his mother, who was packing up the last of their silverware. "Yes, sorry, but Daddy really needed this job, sweetie," his mother replied. Looking up from the package, she wiped a tear from her son's eye. "You'll be okay," she said soothingly. "But, what about all of my friends?" the red-head asked, trying to keep from crying anymore. "You'll make new ones! Besides, we're coming back, eventually, anyway," answered his mom, now moving to the living room to pack the photo albums. Now hopeful, he asked, "Really? When?". Smiling slightly, the elder of the two replied, "I don't know, hopefully soon,". Nodding, Sasori walked outside to help his father load readied boxes into the moving van. '_I wonder what it's going to be like in Tokyo,' _he thought to himself. "Hey, Sasori! That one doesn't go there!" his father laughed as Sasori realized that he was putting the box that held the candles on their next-door neighbors', the Uchihas, front steps. Seeing him through the window, Itachi asked his mother if he could go outside. "Sure, sweetheart!" Mrs. U. answered. Thanking her quickly, Itachi ran up to his room to grab a pair of socks and his sneakers. Dashing out the door, the young Uchiha-weasel met up with his comrade. "Hey, Sasori," Itachi called, "wait a sec, would ya?". Now noticing he and his father weren't the only ones outside, Sasori paused to allow his classmate to catch up to him. "Were you able to get your parents to change their minds?" Itachi cautiously asked. The last time someone had asked Sasori that, (who was Hidan), Itachi had noticed from some feet away that tears began to form in the depressed kid's eyes. "N-no….But th-thanks for asking!" Sasori attempted to smile a little bit at the last part, and maybe try to make Itachi worry a little less about him, but that gave his tears an advantage, and 2 slipped out of his lightish-brown eyes. Itachi asked if Sasori was alright, but instead of replying with a "Yes" or "No", he just nodded and walked to a curb to be alone. He was quite depressed as any kid would be in this situation._

_Time skip! (But still a flashback)_

"_We're here!" Sasori's parents stated excitedly, jolting Sasori awake. Having come all the way from Hiroshima, it certainly was easy to fall asleep. Waking up reluctantly, he groggily stepped out of the family car and stretched his limbs. Yawning, Sasori looked around. '_Wow,' _Sasori thought, _'This place is so, so, busy!'. _It was certainly different from Hiroshima, what with all of the bright lights and jostling people. He continued to wonder what the place was really like, such as what type of people lived here and how his new classmates acted. He also wondered what his old classmates were doing. Well, for the first part, anyway, he only had to wait 'til tomorrow. After eating dinner and unpacking, he went straight to bed. After 10 hours of sleep, (he went to bed at 8:00 PM) he slowly got out of bed. He smelled eggs and bacon, and from the way his mother's voice was singing, he figured it was her cooking. His suspicions were confirmed as the smoke alarm went off. Smiling a little, Sasori hurried down the stairs. Waving a potholder and opening a window, he and his mother cleared the smoke out of their new slightly-big apartment. After a few minutes of breathing the now clean air and silence, except a few thanks, Sasori simply stated, "I think I'd be better with a Poptart, Mom,". Laughing, his mother agreed. It would be better to eat one of them instead of black sticks and powdery blobs!_

_Time skip- to the classroom!_

_Sasori gulped as he looked up to his new school. He noticed a couple of older kids glancing at him from time to time while nudging each other and whispering. Eventually, they walked over and blocked his way from the stairs. "Hey, my friend here says he likes your jacket," one of them said. Sasori, having matured in the last few hours (sorry, I had to do it for effect!), merely said, "Look. You're in my way. Move. I'm not going to waste my time answering your stupid questions. Get out of my way, and stop making this world even more stupid than it already is,". "Oh, isn't that cute, a widdew kiddy tryin' to stand up fow himsewf!" the other replied. Sasori moved to make it look like he was backing up, but really he was moving so that he was in the middle of the two kids trying to gang up on him. He removed his backpack, and the kids thought he was about to give them his jacket, but he swung it so that he hit one, who smashed into the other, and both collapsed into the wall. Smirking, Sasori left the two to untangle them from each other's limbs. Running to make it in class on time, Sasori just turned around to make sure that he hadn't just "accidentally" socked those two idiots TOO bad. Confirming that they weren't dead, Sasori got up the steps to his classroom. Since he was inadvertently a half hour early, he asked his teacher, Mrs. Haruno (yes, Sakura's mom but Sakura ain't here! [thank God]) what he should do. Mrs. H. said that after got unpacked that he could head out to the entrance, since teachers are out there and mingle a little. Doing as stated, he headed out. Looking around for anyone who he thought he might become friends with, he noticed that the two goons that were ganging up on him were doing the SAME THING to another kid. Sighing, he headed over to help the kid out. "I thought I told you idiots to stop making the world worse," Sasori whisper-shouted horror-movie style. The fools instantly dropped the poor blonde and headed for the hills. The stranger slowly looked up and Sasori inwardly gasped at what he saw. "T-thanks," the poor innocent kid said. His voice was raspy, and there were cuts and his left eye was black, and Sasori assumed that that was why he covered it with his hair. On top of that, the kid had a slight cold, and Sasori couldn't figure out why he was even here. "Do you go to this school?" Sasori asked, and the kid nodded. "What's your name?" he asked. "D-D-Deidara, un," the kid answered. The two eventually grew close and Sasori was always sort of like Deidara's guardian angel after that, making sure that he didn't get hurt, or sick, or whatever, and if he did, Sasori would always visit him at least twice a day. In gratitude, Deidara once led Sasori to his backyard to show him something "truly artistic, un" (Go fireworks! ) and he showed Sasori a firework display that spelled, "Thanks, Sasori, un!" and afterward, though he didn't say it was artistic, Sasori admitted it was quite impressive and thanked him for it. Later, for a birthday present, Sasori showed Deidara a puppet show about their friendship (it actually wasn't that cheesy), and the process repeated. So there you have it._

_End super long flashback! (the story will be what the summary said it just took awhile)_

Since Sasori was still reminiscing, he decided to go visit Deidara. He found the blonde sitting on his front steps, apparently waiting for something. "Whatcha doing?" he asked, apparently launching Deidara back to reality. "Oh, nothing, may I ask what you're doing, hmm?" he replied. "Standing, talking to you, the usual," Sasori smiled at his best friend, who was already on his own. It turns out Deidara was an orphan, who had lived at the school. He came with Sasori to Hiroshima, because he needed company and refused to let Sasori leave without him. Deidara at only 18, **(A/N: TOLD YA!) **Sasori was still living with his parents, though he was 20. Sasori was going to move into the house next to Deidara's next week, but that's beside the point.

PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW!


	2. and so it begins

**Disclaimer: Hey guys! KAKAZU GET OUT HERE! Kakazu: Why do I hafta? Author: CUZ I SEZ SO! Now SAY IT! Kakazu: Will you pay meh? Author:…Fine. *thinks to self: Damn it Kisame never paid me back for that stupid sushi!* Kakazu: Tsumichii doesn't nor will ever own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden or anything else mentioned in the story aside from the plotline/idea of the story of Be Right bBack Or Will We?. All that goes to TV Tokyo/Kishimoto-sensei. NOW PAY ME BITCH! Author: WHO THE HELL YOU 'CALLIN BITCH! I KEEL JOO! *is held back by an annoyed Sasori and a pissed-but-refuses-to-show-it-beside-a-death-glare-Uchiha-style Itachi. Sasori: Would you SHUT UP? Author: Um how bout NO! Sasori: Damn it woman shut the (BEEP) up! You're giving me a head ache! Itachi: And HOW do you think I feel, standing here listening to you two? Now shut up your pie-holes before I Tsukoyumi your asses! Sasori and Autor: *gulp* Fine. Itachi: Good. ONWARD TO DA STORY! Author: Which I wrote! Sasori: And did a crappy job on! Itachi: TSUKOYUMI!**

"I see. Is it fun, hm?" Deidara replied and joined in the laughter that currently filled the air. "Yeah. Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to meet everybody, y'know, before the party?" Sasori said. "Okay. Where to first, hm?" Deidara replied, standing up. "Kakazu and Hidan's dorm?" "Okay."

**WHHOOOSH!**

"KAKAZU! I'M MAKINZ MEH A SAMMICH AND SOMEONEZ IZ AT DA DOOR!" Hidan screamed. "Wow…I actually can't hear anything anymore o.o." Kakazu replied. "I SEZ GET DA DOOR! WHAT ARE YA DEAF?" Hidan yelled….for the 69th time. *hears screaming*…70th. "Well…I am now." Kakazu replied, reading Hidan's lips. Of course, by now Deidara had gotten fed up and used Sasori as a battering ram. Currently, Sasori was picking the splinters of wood from his hair. "Ow." Sasori said. "Sorry, Sasori, hm." Deidara said and tried (and failed epicly) not to laugh as he looked at the Sasori's-head-shaped hole in the wall. Meanwhile, Hidan and Kakazu entered the living room, Hidan ranting and Kakazu trying to fix his new (and broken) hearing-aid. "HOLY-" Hidan received Kakazu's hand clamping down on his mouth as Kakazu yelled, "LANGUAGE!" and as Hidan was pointing furiously at a blinking Sasori and a hysterical Deidara, Kakazu said, "WHO THE- Wait, Sasori? Is that really you?". Sasori grinned and nodded, and as Kakazu started chatting with Sasori, Deidara was busy beating the crap out of Hidan via floss after Hidan asked him out. Yeah, VERY painful.

"So, how has everybody been?" Sasori asked. "Well, Pein-sama and Konan-san are engaged, Kisame is currently running a bait shop and sushi bar, Itachi works in a petting zoo **(A/N:Please take the time to imagine Itachi petting sheep all day XD), **Zetsu commutes to a flower shop, Tobi works in Super Duper Happy Bunny Sunshine Land Play Place, Hidan works in a knife manufacturer, and I work for Pein in the bank. Oh, and Konan-san's profession is….uh…come to think of it, I don't know. But I DO know that Pein has multi-professions, because he is every last one of our bosses. Oh, and he has 5 siblings that all look almost EXACTLY like him,"

"Ah. I see," Sasori replied. "So, what are your and the blonde chick's professions?" Kakazu inquired. _"SHIT!" _Sasori inwardly screamed. Deidara turned and faced Kakazu, and all over Deidara's face read blood lust. Kakazu was seen running for his life as Deidara chased him, frying pan in hand. Hidan, happy to not have to deal with that anymore, popped some popcorn and grabbed some soda and he and Sasori watched Kakazu scream and run into a well, which to them was equivalent to Sunday football.

**Thanks so much to all my lovely readers!**

**Sasori: That show was highly entertaining. I didn't know the brat could run so fast. Oh, and what was the recipe for that popcorn?**

**Hidan: Uh kernels and a microwave?**

**Sasori: Interesting…**

**Kakazu: He burned my money! TT^TT**

**Deidara: It's not my fault you don't (BEEPING) know a dude when you see one, hm!**

**UNTIL NEXT TIME! I'm still trying to recover from that damned Tsukoyumi.**

**Sasori: Bye.**

**Deidara: See ya, un!**

**Kakazu: *too busy countin the moolah***

**Hidan: SEE YA!**

**Deidara: You stole that from me, yeah!**

**Hidan: Shut up, Barbie!**

**Deidara: THAT TEARS IT! *chases***

**Author: *watches chase* Huh? Oh, you're still here? Well, uh, bye!**

…

…

**I SAID LEAVE!**

…

**GRRR!**

**GO! (but come back for the next chap!) R&R PLEASE! SUGGESTIONS=GREATLY APPRECIATED! SORRY IT'S SO SHORT!**


	3. next

**Disclaimer: ITACHI! Itachi: Hn? Author: Say the disclaimer! Itachi: Fine. Tsumichii owns nothing except Be right back or will we?. All else is Masashi-sensei and TV Tokyo's stuff. Now don't sue or get the Ameratsu. (spell check?) Dei: Hey, why did he get to say the disclaimer, hm? Author: …..*facepalm* Sorry Dei-san, I already typed it. Dei: Then backspace! Author: Fine, you get next time! Dei: Okay, un. Author….why are we arguing about this? Dei: Ah who gives a shit. ONWARD, YEAH!**

"Deidara, we gotta go. I still need to pick up the tacos." Sasori said. Deidara stopped yanking Kakazu's hair just

long enough to ask where they had to go next before Kakazu threw him off of him. "DAMN IT WOMAN WHAT THE

HELL WAS THAT FOR?" Kakazu yelled. Pulling his head out of the kitchen wall, Deidara answered, "I'M A MAN!

WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU SEE THAT!". "HEY! NO ONE AROUND HERE IS FUCKING ALLOWED TO CURSE THAT

GODDAMN MUCH 'CEPT ME!" Hidan screamed. "Guys…" Sasori said. "OH YEAH? WHO FUCKIN SAYS SO?" Deidara

shrieked back. "Gu-ys…" Sasori said again. "I DO, GIRLY!" Hidan shrilly screamed back. "GUYS! SHUT THE HELL

UP! YOU'RE BOTH GIVING ME THE WORST GOD DAMN HEADACHE I EVER FUCKING HAD! NOW BE QUIET BECAUSE I KNOW WHERE THE KNIVES ARE!" Sasori ranted. 0.0 0_\/. Sasori was fuming and if you were Hidan you would have pissed yourself, and if you were Dei, you were currently using Hidan as a human shield. Kakazu, meanwhile, was trying to leave unnoticed. "YOU STAY RIGHT FUCKING THERE! I AIN'T FINISHED WITH YOU!" Sasori screamed and proceeded to throw Hidan into Kakazu, and said duo fell down the stairs of their apartment building.

"Uh…..Sasori, hm?" Deidara said. He then ripped off the living room curtains and used them as a parachute to jump out the window as Sasori went psycho, laughing like crazy and passing out. Yeah, he didn't have any aspirin with him. Kakazu and Hidan, armed with mallets and their wits, reentered their apartment. They then proceeded to throw Sasori out the window, into the arms of a very shocked Deidara. Dropping the redhead instantly, he got a REEEEAAAAALLYYY long stick and poked him with it. Waking up, Sasori grabbed the stick and threw it. Deidara ended up becoming airborne and being entangled in a clothesline. "Oh. Shit. Un." Deidara said as he noticed Hidan was walking up to a crazy angry Sasori who was wielding an axe. "Uh…Dude, that was a kickass throw! Teach me to do that!" Hidan said. "Oh really? Thanks! I took karate when I was younger." Sasori replied. Losing his anger. The two then proceeded to talk about how cool boxing was, and how Jackie Chan is so awesome. Very different, but oh well. Meanwhile, Kakazu was busy positioning a mattress so that Deidara would live when he came down. "A little to the left! No, your other left, hm! MY DIRECTIONS!" Deidara ordered. Little did he know that Kakazu had turned his hearing aid off and just walked away when he felt he did an okay job.

-75minutes later-

"Hey, anybody see Deidara?" Sasori asked, munching on his sandwich. "Uh…no?" Kakazu answered. "Oh. Okay then. He probably went chasing Hidan again." Sasori said.

-Meanwhile-

"Guys? Guys, hm? GUYS? Hello, anyone there? YO!"

**Sasori: That was a good sandwich. Any dessert?**

**Kakazu: Dessert costs too much.**

**Sasori: *Facepalm***

**Deidara: GUYS! MOVE THE *beep*ING MATTRESS, HM!**

**Hidan: (in a tree for whatever reason) Huh? Hey, Mr. Squirrel, you hear something?**

**Mr. Squirrel: *squirrel noise***

**Hidan: Me neither. *chews on acorn***

**Author: THANK YOU FOR READING! PLEASE REVIEW! Also, I think that Deidara and Sasori should go meet up with Konan and Pein next, you guys?**


	4. spending the night

After Dei had been up there in the clothesline for, oh, just 3 more hours, Sasori and him continued to the shared home of Pein and Konan. Sasori knocked on the door. "We'll be there in a minute!" Konan yelled. A few moments later, she answered the door. "May we help y- S-Sasori? Is that really you? PEIN! SASORI'S HERE!" Konan said excitedly. Practically instantly, an orange-haired man stood next to his fiance. "So, Sasori, you finally got a girl, huh?" Pein stated...asked, whatever. Earning a punch in the face from Deidara. "A: Deidara is a GUY. B: Neither of us are gay. C: I may have gotten a girlfriend before now, we haven't seen each other for over a decade." Sasori stated. "...Did you?" Pein asked. "Well...Okay, ya got me there." Sasori replied. "So, I'm assuming this is Deidara?" Konan asked, saving Sasori from more embarassment. "The one and only, hm." Deidara answered. She smiled warmly at him and turned to Sasori. "How was Tokyo?" she inquired. "Busy. Loud. Lots of lights. Idiots that mug helpless blond-headed second graders." he and Deidara laughed at the memory. "How are you two, anyway?" Sasori questioned. "Well, we're engaged for starters." Pein answered. Konan showed them the ring. It was a sapphire surrounded by diamonds, and the actual rig itself was made of gold and silver interwined. It sparkled in the mid-afternoon sunlight. "Impressive, it is very pretty, Konan-san." Sasori remarked. "Yeah, Sasori-san's right, hm." Deidara agreed. Konan smiled. "Thank you. Oh, sorry, we need to leave, Pein and I were going to go to the movies. Actually, how about you two come along?" Konan asked kindly. "Ah, sorry, the brat and I still need to pick up tacos and stuff for the party this month. You two are still coming, right?" Sasori asked as he ruffled Dei's hair. "Yep, looking forward to it!" Pein replied. They said their goodbyes and went their seperate ways.

**Don't worry, I ain't stoppin here!**

"Brat, which way, which way?" Sasori screeched. They had gone back to Sasori's home and were currently driving in his car on the freeway, on the way to the land of stuff to get the tacos. Finally. "Up! No, East! WAIT, SPONGE!" Deidara screamed back. "Sponge? WTF!" Sasori yelled. Deidara grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him in the back seat, taking control of the steering wheel. Sasori got up and buckled himself in in the back. "DEIDARA! YOU COULDA KILLED ME!" Sasori screamed angrily. "Shut up, hm! I can't fuckin' concentrate with you murdering my ears!" Dei shrieked back. Sasori rolled his eyes and hauled himself back up to the front seat. "Hey, brat?"

"Yeah?"

"...Where's the map?"

"...It flew out the window, un."

"...SAY WHAT?"

"Sorry, hm! SOMEBODY had to make sure we didn't get lost!"

"...YOU were the one giving me bad directions!"

"...Tousce."

"Who the hell still says 'tousce' these days?"

Upon hearing this, Author appears in the back seat. "What was that, Mr. I-watch-Pinocchio-67-times-per-day?" Author asked in a demonic tone. "! N-n-nothing, Author-san! Ha ha, Deidara and I were just laughing about how EVERYONE says 'tousce'" Sasori responded. "That's what I thought. Oh, hey Dei-san. Later." Author said. "See ya, hm." Deidara replied. Author jumped out of the window, barrel-rolled down the side of the hill on the side of the highway, stuck the landing, and went to the place that she went to. Ahem.

- 4 hours later at 6:30 P.M. -

Deidara gazed out the window and realized how late it had become. Turning to Sasori, he asked, "Hey, Sasori, how much longer until we're there?". "I really don't know, brat. I only went once, and I'm going by memory, so..." "We're lost, aren't we, hm?" Deidara questioned.

"Look, we'll get off the highway, rest for the night, then head back on the road in the morning." Sasori stated. "Fine, hm."

The two pulled over and went into the hotel place.

Little did they know that that night was going to be very...BIZARRE...MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Thanks SO MUCH for reading! Please review!**

**Thanks to "meep" and "Sanashii" for reviewing! PLEASE ACT AS THEM! Or I'll send Hidan to get ya. :D**


	5. mugged by an old friend

**Hello my dears...welcome back to the ever-so-strange random adventure of Dei-san and his red-headed friend. I got TWENTY hits a few days ago! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm touched! Anyway, enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: YO! DEIDARA! Deidara: It's a SATURDAY, Tsumichii! I'm trying to catch up on my sleep, hm! Author: Don't ya wanna say the disclaimer? I'll get ZETSU to say it! Deidara: *instantly shows up* Tsumichii-san wil never, EVER own Naruto, original and/or Shippuden. KIshimoto-sensei does. Otherwise, none of the Akatsuki woulda died, hm! Author: Thanks, Dei-san. READ ON, MY LOVELIES!**

**November 16th, 6:56 P.M.**

Sasori and Deidara strode into a semi-run-down inn. "Hello, how may I rape- I mean help you?" a man who looked like MJ's lost brother asked. "Uh...yeah, my friend and I were looking for a room?" Sasori replied. "Ah, yes, right this way," the man said, "By the way, my name is Orochimaru." Oro-Jackson said as he led them to a room. Sasori ignored him, and Deidara gazed at a painting on the wall of...a cupcake that was smiling...however that shit is possible. Sasori tapped his foot impatiently as the dark-haired man fumbled with the keys. "Eh, voila!" Mic- I mean Orochimaru said as he opened the door. Sasori grabbed Deidara's hand and shoved him into the room. Thus losing his hearing from Deidara screaming like...well whatever screams really loud BESIDES teen girls at a JB concert. "What, what, what?" Sasori yelled. Deidara, with a shaky hand, pointed to a shadowy corner. Sasori squinted...it was a cockroach. "Hey, can we get a different ro-" Sasori turned around and realized the pale-skinned man was no longer there. "Weird..." Sasori thought to himself as he smushed the bug with a newspaper. "Okay, I call top bunk, hm!" Deidara said. "Bunk? Who puts a bunk bed in a hotel?" Sasori wondered out loud. He sighed and sat down at the small table in the room, motioning for his younger friend to join him. The two ate dinner, and for once, weren't speaking. On Sasori's part, it was a welcomed, peaceful feeling. Deidara was happy about it, too...but couldn't help but break it. "Wow...it sure is raining hard, un." Deidara spoke, hesitant that he would anger his friend. Sasori merely closed his eyes and nodded; as long as Deidara didn't set him off, or talk TOO loudly, he could stil enjoy this strange sense of calmness. Deidara inwardly breathed a sigh of relief and he watched the water droplets streak down the window. He had never really been one for rain, he had always been one more partial to sunshine, but it didn't really bother him that much. It wasn't until the knock at the door while he was quietly moving to put his bowl in the sink that he was back in reality. He especially wasn't prepared for what came next.

**November 17th, 4:38 A.M.**

Sasori frantically glanced around the room and shook semi-violently. He had been gagged and duct-taped to his chair and was now busy in finding means of escape.

He was running out of time.

He was running out of air.

**Elsewhere  
><strong>Deidara threw Orochimaru against the wall. "TELL ME WHERE THE HELL DANNA IS, HM!" Deidara screeched.

His best friend was in trouble.

Big trouble.

**What happened**

Of course, Sasori, being the closest one to the door, answered it.

He was hit in the face and, before he could defend himself, was thrown into a sack by a man wearing a ski-mask and dark hair. Deidara only saw the attacker from behind, with long dark hair. Automatically thinking it was that creepy rapist- I mean hotel-clerk, he ran downstairs and banged on the desk. "I'm taking care of some inmportant...business. One moment!" Mr. J. called. Deidara kicked down the door and chucked a flower pot at Orochimaru. Orochimaru ducked and tried to hide what he was doing...he was making a shrine for him and Sasori? "Sorry, you two are just SO CUTE!" Orochimaru said like some sick fan girl. Eeeewww. Little did he know that his danna wasn't kidnapped by Orochimaru...

**Meanwhile**

Itachi ran into the room, smiling with good cheer...or something like that. "SASORI-SAN!" Itachi yelled. He hugged his former best friend. "Itachi get ovv uv meh!" Sasori said, muffled. As soon as Itachi had taken out the gag, Sasori spoke. "Are YOU the one that kidnapped me?". "Well duh," Itachi replied, "how else was I supposed to talk to ya?". "Oh, I don't know, maybe CALL ME?" Sasori yelled. "I don't have your number!" Itachi replied happily. "Call the operator!" Sasori said. "I don't know their number!" Itachi answered. "INVITE ME TO YOUR PLACE!" Sasori screamed. "Okay! Wanna come over?" Itachi asked.

Sasori seriously wondered about Itachi's mental stability.

**THANKS FOR READING! I REALLY LOVED THIS CHAPTER! PLEASE REVIEW! PLEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEE!**


	6. on the lam

**Disclaimer: PLEASE KISHIMOTO-SENSEI!...****I'll give ya a lifetime supply of porn from Jiraiya! No? ****DAMN IT! THAT'S THE THIRTIETH TIME I'VE BEEN SHOT DOWN THIS WEEK!...Ahem, I mean, Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo own all the rights to Naruto, and always will….damn it. Nor do I own Ihop.**

**November 17****th****, 7:30 A.M.**

Deidara was glaring at Itachi as he ate his waffles. Thanks to him, he had been forced to go to Ihop with him, Sasori and that gay MJ impersonator. The seating arrangement was Dei next to Sasori, whom was on his left, and was across from Itachi. See, Sasori had gotten 'Tachi to call Deidara, and he was eventually found. Of course, the hotel clerk had to come by orders of Sasori, whom felt bad because Deidara had broken his nose and a "few" other bones. Meaning his left arm and right leg. Both of which had pink casts. Kami, he's such a queer….Anyway,

Oro-gay and Itachi were having a debate on which was a better color- hot pink or navy. It turned out that Itachi had "accidentally" got on a sugar high, but really he had just robbed his 7-year-old brother, Sasuke, of all of his Halloween candy. He was actually still sane enough to leave after Sasuke charged at him with a chainsaw and a blood lusting gleam in his eyes. Eating quickly, Sasori and Deidara quietly got up and left, ditching Itachi and Oro-Jackson to argue over who pays. "3….2….1….," Sasori said, "0.". As soon as that was said, the Ihop they had just been at burst into flames. Ignoring the screams of people running for dear life, he grabbed Deidara by the ponytail and, upon throwing his best friend into the passenger seat, calmly drove back onto the highway.

**November 17****th****, 12:04 P.M.**

Deidara was now driving now…poorly. It was actually pretty good for him, considering the fact that he only hit two old ladies and bumped into five cars. Sasori was now daydreaming of food due to the fact that his stomach had been roaring and could literally be heard up to three miles away, and wondering why the hell he let Deidara drive, while holding on for dear life and trying to do everything he could to ensure he didn't go head-first through the windshield. "I'm hungry, hm. Want to go to that highway diner?" Dei asked. "No, I just want to allow my stomach to eat itself, maybe later. YES I WANT TO GO TO THE DINER DUMBASS!" Sasori screeched. "Fine, fine! Geez, who the hell got your panties in a twist, yeah?" Deidara yelled back. He then attempted to pull into the diner parking lot….

Please note I said "attempted".

World War III practically broke out as people began to scream that whoever gave Deidara a license must have been held at gunpoint, nukes were launched for some unknown reason, and coincidentally, an alien invasion occurred the second Deidara threw a tire at the most insulting threat to society and Deidara's pride….meaning a hamster. Who was armed with a gashine gun….a cross between a machine gun and a bazooka, and over 2,000 rounds of ammo…..holy shit.

3

2

1

**BOOM**

Sasori had ducked for cover just as anyone/thing in a 500 mile radius was blown up. Yet everyone lived…damn it. Sasori and Deidara ran just as the military swooped in, refusing to give up their freedom. They got away….but not before that hamster left scars on Deidara's leg from bite marks.

**November 17****th****, 2:47 P.M.**

Deidara and Sasori dragged themselves into a restaurant, and thanked the heavens as they gratefully ate as much as they could….which was a lot. Soon after, they were back on the road, heading for the tacos needed for the party.

**I IZ SO SORRY IT'S SHORT! T^T! Wow, I can't believe this is already chapter six! Thank you so much for reading! I love you all and PLEASE review or I'll get all sad and emo like Itachi XD but seriously, please review!**


	7. PEDAL BRAT!

**Hey! GUYS! You are not going to believe what I have to say...I'm GOING TO FINISH "The story of the Akatsuki's strange surrender"! I'm not sure when, or in how many more chapters, but I know that they are going to be AWESOME! So PLEASE stand by and read it! I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU REVIEW IT! Can ya believe I let down over 100 fans? I feel so ASHAMED! PLEASE read it! I love how the chapter for it is coming along! I LOVE YA ALL SO FRIGGIN' MUCH! (BTW: I got stuck with Itachi! DAMN IT!)**

**DISCLAIMER: ZETSU! GET YO FREAKY ASS IN HERE! Zetsu: HEY! YOU'RE A WEIRDO TOO, AUTHOR-SAN! Author: Fair enough...Anyway, because SOMEBODY doesn't want to say the disclaimer- Zetsu: FINE! Okay, so Masashi-sensei and TV Tokyo got everything one day, and Author-san was left with...NOTHING! Author: Okay...erm, thanks? Zetsu: Yep. Imma goin to annoy a cactus now! Author: The fuck? Anyway, continuing!**

**November 17th, 5:36 P.M.**

Luckily, Sasori had been smart enough to get a...Two-person bike. Wow. Poor Dei. "C'mon, brat. You get front se-at." Sasori coaxed. Even so, Deidara wasn't about to lose any remainder of his dignity which barely existed. "No. Fucking. Way. Un." Deidara responded. "Well, we wouldn't have to do this if SOMEONE hadn't made the SWAT team leave their morning coffee and poker tournament!" Sasori stated. "...Good point, hm." Deidara answered, and got on the bike. Sasori sighed and joined him.

They were going to get there.

**November 17th, 6:00 P.M.**

Sasori looked down down at his watch. "Hey, brat, it's 6:00. Let's pull up to that hotel over there." he said. "No way! You really think I want to risk getting stuck with another gay-ass clerk, un?" Deidara answered. "Okay, let's try this- I'll go in, and if it's clear, we spend the night. Okay, brat?" Sasori nagotiated. Deidara thought for a moment. "Fair enough, hm. But if another dude clerk starts calling us cute and shit, I swear I'll never listen to you again." he replied. They pulled up, and Sasori walked in like a boss. There was even a kickass theme in the background! "Okay, brat, you can cut the track now." Sasori yelled over his shoulder. He looked like a biker dude. He was wearing his leather jacket and a black T-shirt under that, had black jeans on, and was even showing off his_ Don't mess with me _tatoo he'd gotten on his arm in highschool. He was about to walk up to the clerk when a shard of glass came flying at his head. He then noticed something: his and Dei's faces were each on wanted posters. "DIE!" someone yelled. Sasori turned and moved just as a psychotic pink-haired whatever came sprinting at him with an axe. "Well!" Sasori said. He was WANTED. Not wanted DEAD. Then a familliar-looking-naturally-silver-haired-guy restrained her screaming "Easy! Easy! My, Orochimaru-sama won't be pleased!". "Sorry, sir- SASORI?" he yelled out. "Sakura! Go make the beds in the rooms or something!" he ordered. "It's me, Kabuto!" he said. Sasori nodded. Sadly, he did know him...FLASHBACK! Kidding. Kabuto basically was the reason that his family had to move in the first place. He was the son of Sasori's dad's boss, very mature for his age at the time (though slightly childish), and suggested that to his father to give Sasori's Dad a promotion. And voila, Sasori meets Dei.

**Sasori's POV**

I was led down a hallway to a hotel room and glared at Kabuto as the door was opened. Honeymoon suite. Bah. "For your special lady outside!" Kabuto winked. I kicked his shin and ran back on the bike. Kabuto hopped on his foot and then glanced at the posters. "HOLY SHIT I'M HARBORING CRIMINALS!" he screamed. I got on the bike. "PEDAL BRAT!" I screeched. "So it isn't safe, hm?" Deidara questioned. I smacked him over the head and awaaayyy we went.

**IT'S SHORT! TTT^TTT Sorry, ran outta ideas. *sheepish smile* Remember, kids! REVIEWS MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND! I'm not trying to be pushy but no next chapter until I get at least two more reviews. :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! It's me again! I'm sorry that this has taken so ridiculously long to update, my life has been so busy…..But that's no excuse! Also: THANK YOU SO MUCH TO THE PEOPLE THAT BOTHER TO READ MY CRAPPY STUFF! I have 95 hits to both my fics ALREADY, and it's only been nine days! If you're wondering why I gave myself a review, it was because my cousin had wanted to review and I hadn't properly logged out right. Okay! **

**Disclaimer: Blah blah not mine blah blah Masashi Kishimoto blah blah TV Tokyo blah blah waffles**

**November 17****th****, 6:00 P.M. – Deidara's point of view**

I waited as Danna checked in the hotel we were at. I played the track when he walked in, and shut off the CD player. Soon after, I hear someone scream, "DIE!", along with somebody saying that their boss wouldn't be pleased. A few minutes after that, Sasori came running. We biked along in peace for a little bit, when Danna tapped my shoulder. Of course, I turned around on reflex, and since I wasn't watching where we had been going, we slammed into a rock, with me flying over the handlebars of said bike. I sat up, a little dazed, and was managed not to get many scrapes or bruises. I stood up and dusted myself off, and then noticed where I was: In the middle of the freeway with a huge

18-wheeler just seconds away from hitting me. I shut my eyes, covered my head, and prayed to Kami-sama that I wouldn't die in some freak accident. Next thing I knew, I felt someone trying to shove me out of the way, then a huge hit to my side, followed by the feeling of flying. Wait. Flying? I opened my eyes and noticed that Danna and I had been launched into the air by that huge truck, and we were now in the process of falling. Even then, Danna was stoic and calm. I, on the other hand, had begun to flail my arms as though that would have helped. I closed my eyes again and prepared for a blow…a blow of which that never came. I remembered the time that I had this same sort of thing happen when I was younger. I got into a little ball, and aimed myself so that I was coming down on an angle instead of straight down. I tuck-and-rolled, and upon noticing what I had done, Danna did the same.

…

Sadly, though, our results were neither of us had expected, or hoped.

We ended up melting through the ground, into an underground world. There were people down there, as well, too afraid to approach. Eventually, Danna stood towering over me, offering me a hand which I accepted. We brushed ourselves off (again) and tried to show that we meant no harm. The people, however, didn't speak Japanese, English, Chinese, Spanish or French. I nudged Danna and told him to translate.

"I took the same classes as you in high school, and studied all of those languages with you separately. I ain't got anything, brat," Danna answered flatly. One of them could speak English…with an accent so thick he would say " I like pie. " when what it SOUNDED like was "I (beep)ed your granny,". He wrote down, "We speak Flafflese" on it.

"Flafflese? Yo, Danna, come look at this," I said. He came over and studied it, and we were handed a map from that Italian guy.

We were in for something ENTIRELY unexpected.

**SORRY IT'S SO SHORT!**


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